Finding more

Maybe there might be that 'thing' that you can see in your mind that you are wanting so bad. Needless to say it is just a 'thing', perhaps and want or maybe a need. Whatever it is, you're keeping it there in hopes of one day finally realizing that you're close to seeing and reaching out more and more and feeling the tail-end of it and then one day, BAM! it's gone. Most reasons why we as humans want to give up on that dream is because we have become something that society is wanting us to become. I, myself included. I've become one of the obese people that Americans and other people of the world frown upon because it seems that more and more obese people are filing for disability based upon the fact that they cannot, or will not take charge in their life and find a way to self motivate themselves back into a lifestyle of healthy eating habits and exercising more often. I'll get into my reasons on another blog on why I'm big, but right now I'm making a place to wanting to find more and more and more dreams, hopes, aspirations to get ME, Matthew the one soul in North Carolina motivated to feel, find, examine and carry through these 'things' that we all search for at least once in our short lived lifetime.
I'm just now finding certain doors that we once not even in my route, the doors that I never foreseen even becoming a reality. I'm trying somewhat harder every day to become better at becoming the Matthew that society does NOT want me to become and become the Matthew that God, our Lord wants me to be. That is indeed a long and tedious road because societies peer pressure sure is a awful ugly mind manipulation tool that we are so use to falling into we never know until things start to change. I've seen the change in me. I've felt it and finally a month back I broke down inside and said "My turn. Not yours."
I've become a regular member of a church now, I've helped do whatever it takes (minor PRC plug there) to make sure my friends and family see what I'm doing, how I'm trying to commence this change. Push forward with my life and make those sacrifices that are so demanding sometimes it requires that you break away from a life you once had and move forward onto another life that you were lead to by someone from a higher authority. I've recieved that help that is needed in some of this life change, some has been towards the positive, some has been not so positive. But, rest assure I am still going to try and reach towards this 'thing' that is beckoning for me to reach out and collect it, become something better and make sure that I help any and all who will receive me as I am and not shun me away in hopes that their way is better. I can only know and give thanks that this door that God has led me to is the door that which it all begins.
Now I being to look upon everyone else around here, neighbors and friends. I'm going to continue to be that person everyone loves and be the man that will carry the world if needed be.

I can hope though that by others reading this I can inspire at least a small notion to come into your mind, With that happening then I know that I can say with a smile-I have succeeded.