I woke up early today, friday the 13th of all days to having a dream about me being back in High school. But, here be the kicker-It was only during lunch this dream took place. I looked as I do now. I know as I know now everything but there was no one there I graduated with so all new kids and shit. I was freaking out. They were hateful little brats and I wound up chucking a plate at one and tellin' them to shut their whore mouth and be nice to the lunch ladies because they'll regret it when one spits in their food and mixes it up before handing it to 'em. I got me my two plates of food which wound up costing 6 bucks...6 BUCKS..what the hell..I remember paying no more than 2 bucks for that funky tasting food which was great when you hadn't ate nothing all morning. Anywho, back on track-I was just struck by awe I wound up back here. I wasn't made fun of but I was stared at like I was something strange. .... Then ... I woke up.
End scene.
I laid back down after raising straight up coughing for a moment and I was thinking to myself "what the fuck was that and why would I dream such a strange thing?!"..I did my morning ritual, piss, wash hands and face, grab a drink and a granola bar then sat and listened to music. Oi vey. I'm late for work at the moment but i'm making up for it from having 2 hours of overtime yesterday.
I felt like sharing because well, it's worthy of sharing. Anyone else having strange dreams lately?..
The times of random and reasons that need no explanation.
Friday, August 13, 2010
Monday, August 9, 2010
About that
The last post you see below. Yeah. From my phone.
I'm going to leave it there for all you who read my blogs to show you that a Android device isn't blogger friendly right now sending via SMS.
I'm working the office today. I've just gotten back from lunch 25 mintues ago, i'm gonna file some papers and clean up a bit before the work rush hits. Meaning, I'll still be here when people are getting off work and that I'll be their slave to questions they have.
Ugh. I don't think I'll like this job.
I'm going to leave it there for all you who read my blogs to show you that a Android device isn't blogger friendly right now sending via SMS.
I'm working the office today. I've just gotten back from lunch 25 mintues ago, i'm gonna file some papers and clean up a bit before the work rush hits. Meaning, I'll still be here when people are getting off work and that I'll be their slave to questions they have.
Ugh. I don't think I'll like this job.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Does it begin or does it end?
Where do we see the addiction of life become a habit more so than a habit to enjoy. I don't find much enjoyment. I'll tell you why.
I'm plagued with thoughts that if I in fact leave this place that the world itself will implode on itself. (I'm talking about the apartments)
I've shoved the mindset (which by the way is wearing off as we speak still) that if I leave my family will go through a biblical crisis that I could have helped diverted if I stayed around longer.
That's 2 reasons why I haven't shoved myself out there to go find another job nor have I (to a degree) shoved myself out the door to go and find a new home. Working and living at your job. It's becoming a dull and irritating situation. One could do it if there was some kind of incentive program. There isn't one for any of the properties the company I work for. 'Nuff said. I'm really working more than I should and not getting the pay for it either. My boss wouldn't give me a better raise like she wanted to because her fear of me moving because it would raise my rent higher. Look. I am the 3rd highest paying renter here at the apartments. I'm in there because well, I deserve my pay and like the saying goes "you play-you pay" ..I'm paying for it in the end. I don't mind it. I'd rather have one paycheck to live nicely off of and be able to sit down and pay bills and not worry about if I'm going to be able to live the next 2 weeks off of saltines and tap water. My own mother witnessed my living this past Friday when I sat in front of her and paid out all my bills which amass to more than I get paid. I pay them all and it leaves me with less than 25 bucks everytime because that $25 bucks is what was left from my last paycheck which was swallowed up by my rent and one bill I pay in advance to savor the next check (if you can't figure it out. I'm being paid bi-weekly).
So, why the bitching and complaining you could say, from me?
Well, reason I'm sounding as if I want pity from you all reading this is that I want others to realize that people who work, live life inside the box inside ANOTHER box, they live a hard life too. Seeing that struggle every week I find myself taking a breath every pay check to say "oh look. Money, I need to give it away before it flies away". I don't care about my pay. I don't. I am happy that I'm able to get paid what I do. Which it's salary so whatever.
I'm wanting to get out of here but ...alas.. I'm too fucking lazy to motivate myself on weekends or evenings after I get off work. I'd rather come home and be the typical American Bachelor and play video games, drink beer and watch porn then go to bed. I don't think there will be any place for a woman in my life any time soon so that shit is shoved out the door alongsides with the thought that there is a house out there that is available for me to pay less than $475 a month - I know that's uber cheep to some. North Carolina is a very poor state and the cost of living is cheep to some. But when the minimum wage is only $7.25hr ..shit gets expensive real quick. I'm paying $400 a month for my place. I could spare a couple dollars more. I know people around me in my circle of friends who are paying $300 a month for a 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom house. It's nice, Fuck though - How does a person like me get that handed to me, because like I said earlier. I am way to lazy to just hop out of my recliner here and just go after it like it's a butterfly just wanting me to catch it. Ugh, I guess I should wrap this up. I'm getting bored with the thoughts over in my brain because it's turning into a argument in there and god knows when my head gets into that bind I start bitching and complaining way more than I know.
I just set up my mobile blogging bit so I will possibly start posting a lot more here soon.
I'm plagued with thoughts that if I in fact leave this place that the world itself will implode on itself. (I'm talking about the apartments)
I've shoved the mindset (which by the way is wearing off as we speak still) that if I leave my family will go through a biblical crisis that I could have helped diverted if I stayed around longer.
That's 2 reasons why I haven't shoved myself out there to go find another job nor have I (to a degree) shoved myself out the door to go and find a new home. Working and living at your job. It's becoming a dull and irritating situation. One could do it if there was some kind of incentive program. There isn't one for any of the properties the company I work for. 'Nuff said. I'm really working more than I should and not getting the pay for it either. My boss wouldn't give me a better raise like she wanted to because her fear of me moving because it would raise my rent higher. Look. I am the 3rd highest paying renter here at the apartments. I'm in there because well, I deserve my pay and like the saying goes "you play-you pay" ..I'm paying for it in the end. I don't mind it. I'd rather have one paycheck to live nicely off of and be able to sit down and pay bills and not worry about if I'm going to be able to live the next 2 weeks off of saltines and tap water. My own mother witnessed my living this past Friday when I sat in front of her and paid out all my bills which amass to more than I get paid. I pay them all and it leaves me with less than 25 bucks everytime because that $25 bucks is what was left from my last paycheck which was swallowed up by my rent and one bill I pay in advance to savor the next check (if you can't figure it out. I'm being paid bi-weekly).
So, why the bitching and complaining you could say, from me?
Well, reason I'm sounding as if I want pity from you all reading this is that I want others to realize that people who work, live life inside the box inside ANOTHER box, they live a hard life too. Seeing that struggle every week I find myself taking a breath every pay check to say "oh look. Money, I need to give it away before it flies away". I don't care about my pay. I don't. I am happy that I'm able to get paid what I do. Which it's salary so whatever.
I'm wanting to get out of here but ...alas.. I'm too fucking lazy to motivate myself on weekends or evenings after I get off work. I'd rather come home and be the typical American Bachelor and play video games, drink beer and watch porn then go to bed. I don't think there will be any place for a woman in my life any time soon so that shit is shoved out the door alongsides with the thought that there is a house out there that is available for me to pay less than $475 a month - I know that's uber cheep to some. North Carolina is a very poor state and the cost of living is cheep to some. But when the minimum wage is only $7.25hr ..shit gets expensive real quick. I'm paying $400 a month for my place. I could spare a couple dollars more. I know people around me in my circle of friends who are paying $300 a month for a 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom house. It's nice, Fuck though - How does a person like me get that handed to me, because like I said earlier. I am way to lazy to just hop out of my recliner here and just go after it like it's a butterfly just wanting me to catch it. Ugh, I guess I should wrap this up. I'm getting bored with the thoughts over in my brain because it's turning into a argument in there and god knows when my head gets into that bind I start bitching and complaining way more than I know.
I just set up my mobile blogging bit so I will possibly start posting a lot more here soon.
Monday, August 2, 2010
The oddtimes that takes more time than none
I feel a slight headache coming on as I type all this out while listening to some techno. It's nearly 2am as I type this. I've thought long and hard about things recently and came to this conclusion on my mindset.
It's more screwed up than Charles Manson's head.
No, really. I am, I can't get over my past. I don't let it go at all and I always think back on things. Some how or another it'll just come out of no where. This morning I was thinking about a previous ex and the day we had broken up. I wasn't sad nor mad, but my mind instead jumped to the thought of my friends who are married and living out lives with a significant other and here I am alone and depressed, looking for at least some for of companionship because lets face it. I'm not doing so great on the ladies front *sigh*. Eh, well I think for the better part I've been doing alright. I'm slowly learning more and more from my possible new job. Pushing papers and typing on computers. All while putting up with random people all at the same time. Arg, I feel the sleep trying to take hold of me. I've not blogged though in so long. I felt like I needed to step into those shoes and let loose on whats been keeping me roused up ...
damn females.
It's more screwed up than Charles Manson's head.
No, really. I am, I can't get over my past. I don't let it go at all and I always think back on things. Some how or another it'll just come out of no where. This morning I was thinking about a previous ex and the day we had broken up. I wasn't sad nor mad, but my mind instead jumped to the thought of my friends who are married and living out lives with a significant other and here I am alone and depressed, looking for at least some for of companionship because lets face it. I'm not doing so great on the ladies front *sigh*. Eh, well I think for the better part I've been doing alright. I'm slowly learning more and more from my possible new job. Pushing papers and typing on computers. All while putting up with random people all at the same time. Arg, I feel the sleep trying to take hold of me. I've not blogged though in so long. I felt like I needed to step into those shoes and let loose on whats been keeping me roused up ...
damn females.
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